How to free your sneeze

At one time or another, everyone has encountered a sneeze that tries and tries but never seems to come out. Some invisible fetters restrain it, barely containing it in your nose, taunting you with its presence but never actually letting it out. If you've always wished to set your sneezes free, I have the secret solution. For only $5.99 you can learn how to never suffer sneeze bondage again! In just eight easy steps I will teach you how to free your sneeze.
Step 1. Identify the sneeze that is stuck.
Step 2. Hunt down the nearest (full) kleenex box or roll of toilet paper.
Step 3. Roll a corner of the kleenex or toilet paper into a point.
Step 4. Insert kleenex or toilet paper point up nose as far as you can.
Step 5. Move point around slowly until you find that special ticklish spot in the back of your nose that triggers uncontrollable sneezing. 
Step 6. Keep kleenex/toilet paper in your nose in that spot and sneeze until you are satisfied.
Step 7. Remove point and throw used kleenex or toilet paper in the garbage.
Step 8. Wash your hands.

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About Me

I was born and I will die. I eat, breath, sleep, talk, and periodically raise my voice. For a little variation I read, watch movies, and walk on the beach. I am a Christian, a Canadian, and a homeschool graduate. When it rains I stare at the windshield wipers and get mad when the wipers move a little too fast for the stream of water that is desperately trying to get away. When it's sunny I walk down to the beach and think about amnesiacs washing up on the shore. When it snows I stay inside with a book and curl up in a blanket. I like CSI Las Vegas, Criminal Minds, and Firefly. I like dark chocolate and dandelions and daisies and wild roses. And RED.

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