The scary god of love

Love; it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
it will set you free.
-"Sigh No More" by Mumford and Sons
I do not much like being told that I must believe a thing or burn in hell for all eternity.  Why should I love a god who would do that?  When I hear it, it scares me and then I get angry.  Why must I be frightened into a certain belief?

If "god is love"...

If "Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance"...

If this is true....god does not condone the scare tactics.  How could he?  Scaring people so they think like you do is mean.  Cruel.  Love is kind....right?

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How to free your sneeze

At one time or another, everyone has encountered a sneeze that tries and tries but never seems to come out. Some invisible fetters restrain it, barely containing it in your nose, taunting you with its presence but never actually letting it out. If you've always wished to set your sneezes free, I have the secret solution. For only $5.99 you can learn how to never suffer sneeze bondage again! In just eight easy steps I will teach you how to free your sneeze.
Step 1. Identify the sneeze that is stuck.
Step 2. Hunt down the nearest (full) kleenex box or roll of toilet paper.
Step 3. Roll a corner of the kleenex or toilet paper into a point.
Step 4. Insert kleenex or toilet paper point up nose as far as you can.
Step 5. Move point around slowly until you find that special ticklish spot in the back of your nose that triggers uncontrollable sneezing. 
Step 6. Keep kleenex/toilet paper in your nose in that spot and sneeze until you are satisfied.
Step 7. Remove point and throw used kleenex or toilet paper in the garbage.
Step 8. Wash your hands.

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Unexpected encouragement

Gosh it's hard to get back into blogging!  I sit cross-legged on the floor with a pot of mint tea beside me, my computer on my lap, and a general idea of what I want to say but no idea how to begin.  I should think this wouldn't be so hard.  After all, I'm pretty sure I lost all of my small readership in the months between August and May when I posted nothing.  How hard is it really to write to an audience of none?

I wrote in an earlier post about questioning my beliefs.  At the beginning it was hard to question things.  Is it ok to question what I was told growing up?  Does it make me a horrible person to not question?  Should I just muster up more faith from somewhere so I don't have questions and doubts anymore?  I mentioned Frank Schaeffer's two books that I read over the summer and how they helped me become ok with the fact of my questions.  At no point thus far has my journey been easy.  I've had help and encouragement along the way though...and from some unexpected places.  

Last autumn I began attending the new young adults group at the Pentecostal church which was just down the street from my grandma's apartment where I was living at the time.  I questioned myself constantly about whether I should even be going there or not.  I really only went to get out of the house and see other faces...but when I'm busy questioning the christian beliefs I grew up with, do I really want to be hanging out with christians?  One morning Grandma roped me into helping for a half hour at the church stuffing envelopes with newsletters and flyers that would later be mailed out to people who likely open the envelope to glance through and throw everything (hopefully!) into the recycle bin.  After all the envelopes were stuffed and stacked and ready to be sealed, I wandered down the hall to the youth/young adults pastor's office to see if he had some time to chat.  Dustin invited me in and I told him about my questions.  I mainly had (and still have) two:  
  1. How can any religion so adamantly believe that it has the truth...the only truth...and all other religions and beliefs are wrong?
  2. How can anyone confidently believe that the Bible is without error and is truly the word of God?  How do we know the right books made it into the Bible?  How do we know we're not missing any?  And what was the agenda of the people who did the deciding?
It wasn't until about a week before this little chat in his office that I even became comfortable with sharing my questions with him.  Miss Judgemental thought "He's a new youth pastor fresh out of Bible School...my questions will just get bookish Bible School answers and I don't want those."  The week before this chat I heard Dustin say that he had questioned Christianity, the inerrancy of the Bible, and even the existence of God for a while and that, while he had searched and found answers that satisfied HIM, anyone who had questions needed to do their own searching and their own research.  This he strongly emphasized in our chat in his office and sent me home with a book on world religions.  True, it was written by a christian, but he said it was one that really helped him with some of his questions.  Surprisingly I quite enjoyed the book.  When presenting the history and beliefs of each religion, Winfried Corduan speaks ONLY about that religion.  "This is the history of Islam.  These are the basic beliefs.  These are the main branches of believers.  Here are the main differences between their respective beliefs.  This is how islamic beliefs tend to look in the average muslim's life."  Only after he has spent pages and pages and pages explaining Islam does he finally bring Christianity in at the end.  And that is just a small part...often only a page or two suggesting what to do and not to do when evangelizing to a muslim.

While Corduan's book didn't answer my SPECIFIC questions, it DID give me a better understanding of what a lot of other people believe.  I have a better idea of what else is out there.  Some of my "options".

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Back from the dead

Wow!  I...um...it's been a while since I last wrote here!  My sister asked over a week ago if I was still blogging and suggested I take it up again.  So here I am.

So much has happened since August.  I guess a quick overview is as good a place to start as any.  

1.  I started school.  In a previous post I mentioned wanting to teach ESL and so I am pursuing that, although in a slightly different way than I anticipated.  I've decided to get a BA in English.  My school of choice is Thompson Rivers University because of their distance program that allows me to study from the comfort of my own home...very much like my education has been up until this point.  I have just finished my first English course and am studying for the final exam which is on the 14th.  In the mean time I am also studying Spanish (because I have always wanted to learn it, and because I would like to travel throughout Central and South America) and will soon find some kind of math course to fulfill the math/science requirements.

2.  Home has moved.  In February I moved back in with my parents instead of living with my grandma.  It was time for a change of scenery.  I really like my new community, although we are planning to move yet AGAIN to another one due to my dad's job.  While I think I may miss it here, I always enjoy getting to know new places, so I think I'll like this next move.

3.  I HAVE TWO NEW BROTHERS!!!  I think I like this change the best.  Until November or December of last year, I was the oldest in my family and had always wished for an older brother.  My parents provided MANY brothers and sisters for me....but they were always younger.  Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands.  So I adopted one...and a few days later was adopted by another.  They're the best, and now I can't imagine life without Nicky and David.  =)  

I guess that's a good summary of the last 8 months...at least, as far as the big events go.  I'll try and be back soon and post more frequently.

Until later.

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About Me

I was born and I will die. I eat, breath, sleep, talk, and periodically raise my voice. For a little variation I read, watch movies, and walk on the beach. I am a Christian, a Canadian, and a homeschool graduate. When it rains I stare at the windshield wipers and get mad when the wipers move a little too fast for the stream of water that is desperately trying to get away. When it's sunny I walk down to the beach and think about amnesiacs washing up on the shore. When it snows I stay inside with a book and curl up in a blanket. I like CSI Las Vegas, Criminal Minds, and Firefly. I like dark chocolate and dandelions and daisies and wild roses. And RED.

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