The old way feels safer

"Whatever goes against the Book of Law [the belief system you were raised to believe in] will make you feel a funny sensation in your solar plexus, and it's called fear.  Breaking the rules in the Book of Law opens your emotional wounds, and your reaction is to create emotional poison.  Because everything that is in the Book of Law has to be true, anything that challenges what you believe is going to make you feel unsafe.  Even if the Book of Law is wrong, it makes you feel safe."
--"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz

This has been my experience.  When I first started questioning my beliefs, I was rather scared.  Was it ok that I was questioning?  What was wrong with me?  Was I a bad person for questioning?  I've gotten to the point now where I'm ok to question things.  If the stuff written in my "Book of Law" is really true, then it will hold up to questioning.

I was just talking to my friend Ryan tonight, and he was sharing a little about how he went from growing up in the church to becoming Atheist to becoming Agnostic to coming back to the church.  He said he's wondered if the reason why Christianity makes more sense to him than any of the other religions is because he grew up in it, or if it really does just make more sense.  Would he have become a Hindu if that's what he'd grown up in?  Who knows.

I read "Crazy For God" and "Patience With God" by Frank Schaeffer this summer.  Both of these books helped me get to the point where I'm ok to question things, and even ok to have no answers to my questions.  I particularly enjoyed "Crazy For God" for this reason.  In "Patience With God", though, Frank talks about how he fluctuates between being Christian, Agnostic, and Atheist...and try as he might, he can't completely shake the Christian beliefs he was raised in.  It becomes a part of you...whether you were raised Christian or Hindu or Muslim or Atheist...it is your "Book of Law".  

This place of unknowing.  Of questioning.  Of suspense and adventure...  I'm content and happy right now.  Right here.



Sometimes I catch myself thinking....

the old way feels safer.

posted under , |

1 comments:

Karen Johnson said...

Good post. I, too, "sometimes catch myself thinking....the old way feels safer" but then I realize my lazy-side wants safe and ease, but I truly want Truth more.

August 27, 2010 at 8:19 AM

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

About Me

I was born and I will die. I eat, breath, sleep, talk, and periodically raise my voice. For a little variation I read, watch movies, and walk on the beach. I am a Christian, a Canadian, and a homeschool graduate. When it rains I stare at the windshield wipers and get mad when the wipers move a little too fast for the stream of water that is desperately trying to get away. When it's sunny I walk down to the beach and think about amnesiacs washing up on the shore. When it snows I stay inside with a book and curl up in a blanket. I like CSI Las Vegas, Criminal Minds, and Firefly. I like dark chocolate and dandelions and daisies and wild roses. And RED.

    Followers